As I type this entry, the atomic clock on my wall is telling me that it’s 4:45AM EDT. Lately, I’ve been seeing more and more of the wee hours of the morning, so, needless to say, I haven’t been sleeping well. I’ve found it very interesting the things that go through my head while I’m lying in bed trying to fall asleep, everything from relationships to church music to work to cars to sports to shoes to weather to…you get the idea. My mind cycles through quite a few topics when I can’t sleep. Then I think to myself, “OK, you just need to slow your mind down and not think of so many things.” So I try that approach, which works only some of the time; unfortunately for me, tonight was not one of those nights. Then I try watching a little TV or a familiar movie, which is usually pretty soporific, especially late at night. Again, tonight was not one of those nights. I then get up out of bed and do something completely unrelated to sleep, in hopes that my body will just break down and quit on me, forcing me to pass out. Tonight, I decided to work on my dissertation revisions, thinking that surely THAT would make me sleepy. Yup, you guessed it: tonight was not one of those nights. I’ve been revising now for about an hour and a half ago. On the bright side, however, at least SOMEthing positive is stemming from my inability to sleep. The way I see it, if I’m going to be up this late, I might as well make it worth my while.

OK, I’m going to try to get at least a couple of hours of shut-eye tonight. The clock now reads 4:56AM EDT. Awesome. If you’ve got any suggestions as to how to “cure” this “ailment” of mine, please share. I’m cranky when I’m tired, and no one wants that. Thus ends the ramblings of a raving insommiac. Good night…I hope.

P.S.  The birds have started chirping.  Ouch.

This entry is dedicated to all those restaurant and bar patrons who, whether consciously or otherwise, tip the servers and bartenders well. And by “well,” I don’t mean 15%. For those who don’t know or are unaware of how this works, here’s a crash course.

First and foremost, allow me to dispel any rumors about servers’ wages. We do NOT make $8.00 an hour. We don’t even make minimum wage. It’s in the neighborhood of $3.00 an hour. Pretty measly, I know, but that’s where the importance of tips comes in. Because of such a low hourly wage, servers are dependent upon their tips to make a living. The whole philosophy behind tipping is that better service is supposed equate to better tips (duh). But as I’ve found out, that’s not always the case, mostly because just aren’t aware of what a server actually goes through to get that “mid rare filet extra sauce 86 mash sub spinach side asparagus” out to you. 15% has long been considered the standard gratuity given to servers at sit-down, full-service restaurants. However, with the rising costs of, well, everything, 15% really isn’t that much. A 15% tip should be reserved for average to below-average service; in other words, 15% should be the bottom line, the bare minimum restaurant-goers should give. If your server provided good service, please feel free to pony up 18-20% or more. It doesn’t sound like much, but those few extra percentage points not only add a couple of bucks to the server’s already thin wallet, it adds a little sparkle to an otherwise difficult and physically demand job. Which brings me to another point: serving is tough. It is hard work. A typical shift lasts several hours, and during that time, the server is on his feet the whole time running around trying to manage several tables at once while running other servers’ food, filling and refilling drinks, getting extra silverware and napkins, grabbing  extra honey mustard, and bussing tables…which is why that extra 3-5% is so crucial. It may only be $1 or $2, but believe me, it brightens up our day when we get 20% or more. When in doubt as to how good your service was, just ask yourself, “How often did I have to ask for stuff, or did he just bring out extra napkins and refilled my Coke without my having to ask?” If your answer is “not often” or even “not at all,” then he’s a good server and deserves a little something extra. And the people serving your food are servers, NOT servants. Just because you are paying customer, that does not give you the right to be unreasonable, demanding, and rude. The way I see it, nice customers get better service, genuine smiles, and an all-around more pleasant dining experience.

As for your bar experience, if you go up to the bartender and order a drink or round of drinks directly from him, then the standard tip is $1 per drink, regardless of how much your drinks are. No matter if you order a $9 cosmo or a $1.50 draft beer, tip no less than $1 for every drink you order. That being said, bartenders remember people, especially those who are generous and those who are not. A word to the wise: tip extra on your first couple of rounds of drinks, and the bartender most likely will hook you up on the subsequent rounds, either with a free one here and there, or a perhaps a discount of some kind. “You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.” It’s that simple. Remember: At the bar, tip $1 per drink please, no less.

OK, with all that out of the way, I got worked tonight. Slammed.  It’s been quite a while since I’ve been weeded behind the bar, but tonight was one of those nights. The pop didn’t hit ’til late, but when it did, I was buried for about an hour. Between the service bar tickets coming four at a time, to the hammered off-the-clock co-worker who’d been drinking since 6AM (no lie) and was pestering me for drink, to the three groups of businessmen who decided to show up all at once, I was a little busy. But at the end of the shift, it was worth it because I walked with a nice wad of cash. So, many thanks to those who were generous and tipped well. Many thanks to the bar patrons who were friendly and patient and not too demanding. And many thanks to the servers on the floor who were patient with me as I tried to juggle 7 service tickets and a full bar. It’s a team effort, and although we got rocked tonight, it was fun.

I’m finding it tough not to get frustrated at this whole job search thing. But it’s tough. Every day I log on to a several sites and check the job postings, and I look over the list of who got hired where and think to myself, “Really? Seriously?” I think this not because those who are getting jobs are not intelligent, knowledgeable people, but because I think I’m on par with them, at least on paper. And that’s to say nothing of how I’d actually do in an interview or teaching demo. Yet, they’re the ones getting hired while I’m stuck waiting for some school just to ask for additional materials, much less schedule an interview. It sounds like I’m whining, I know, and I should suck it the f*ck up as Mike advises. But the way I see it, I’ve defended my dissertation and I think I’m a damn good teacher. All I want is a chance to show that; if I blow it, well then that’s on me. But sitting here watching other ABDers (and even some who haven’t even started writing their dissertations) get jobs ahead of me is extremely disheartening. Just give me a chance, that’s all.