Tag Archives: Teaching

Tone Deaf

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Walking down the hall a few days ago, I overheard a student brusquely asking a professor, “I need you to show me how to do that again.” I couldn’t believe what I heard. My initial internal reaction was, “Um, excuse me little girl, but I need you to show your teacher a little more courtesy.” To be fair, said student probably meant no disrespect when she asked for some help, but her tone wasn’t nearly as polite she may have thought it was. And that’s exactly my point. She needed to be more aware of her tone. In fact, we all need to be more aware of how we say things to others, myself especially included. “Could you please show me how to do that again?” is a perfectly reasonable and respectful request. So is “Would you mind showing me again how to do that?” The whole interaction and my reaction to it reminded me of this scene from A Few Good Men:

Unfortunately, this is a lesson that many of us–again, myself included–have to learn the hard way. It has taken me a very long time and I have certainly offended more than a few people trying to learn how to regulate my tone and volume. Admittedly, I’m still a work in progress, but lately it’s been easier, and I think it has to do with how my wife and I speak to him and to each other.

We’re trying to teach our son to ask for things nicely. He sometimes resorts to squealing or screaming if he doesn’t get exactly what he wants exactly when he wants it. “Use your words” and “What do you say?” are common refrains in our household. In addition to the actual words, I’m making a concerted effort to speak more slowly and softly. Lately, instead of raising my voice, which comes naturally for me, I use a markedly lower volume and a deliberately slower cadence. Not only does this (hopefully) teach him not to yell or scream when faced with a frustrating or maddening situation, but it also helps keep my temper at bay. It’s a long-term win-win that is already proving beneficial for everyone on Team Endrinal.

Semester Review: Fall 2014

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The Spring 2015 semester begins today, so I figured what better way to get back into this writing thing than by taking a look back at what was, quite frankly, a fuckin’ bear of a semester and what made it such a challenge.

“Unexpectedly intense” is how I would describe the Fall 2014 semester. At first, I didn’t know why. The conditions seemed primed for a pretty run-of-the-mill semester: I was starting a promotion-track job teaching classes that I’d taught before in a place where I had already been for a year. Rather unexpectedly, however, I felt an intense amount of pressure. I never really found a grove. It was only when I had a chance to get away from campus for a few days for SMT that I figured out why the semester felt so pressure-packed. Fort Myers is a long way from Milwaukee, so I had a chance to reflect on the semester in progress. Ultimately, I concluded that the “unexpected intensity” wasn’t caused by just one or two things, but rather the result of a perfect storm of circumstances.

Technical Difficulties

Before the school year started, I got my very first iPad. This was a big deal for me. I’ve wanted one for the longest time, not just because they’re great devices in and of themselves, but primarily because I like to augment my teaching with technology. Now that I finally had an iPad, I could integrate its capabilities into my teaching workflow to help the classroom environment feel more modern and more engaging. Through an Apple TV and the classroom projector, I could wirelessly display not just a score from my iPad, but my annotations as well. Additionally, because of the campus-wide wifi network, I could also control music playback wirelessly from the iPad. That meant that I was no longer anchored to the document camera at the front of the classroom. With iPad in hand, I could lead my class through an analysis from anywhere in the classroom, thereby making the previously static (and often dry) task of in-class score analysis more dynamic. As an added bonus, it eliminated the amount of paper I needed for class. Hooray for sustainability!

But, as the saying goes, “With great power comes great responsibility.” I didn’t want it to look like I was incorporating an iPad merely for the sake of using the latest tech trend. I’ve known teachers (hell, even school districts) who rushed this sort of thing, with predictably dreadful results in tow. I identified a clear pedagogical benefit to using this technology in my classes. The issue, however, was that I wanted to make the integration of the techology as smooth as it could be, like I had been using an iPad the whole time. For someone with perfectionist tendencies, that is a lot easier said than done, a fact I found out the hard way. There were unexpected issues like stuttering playback and weak/lost Apple TV connections thanks to building’s mediocre-at-best wifi signal. I found workarounds when necessary and (almost) always had contingency plans in place (paper scores at the ready; my iPhone or iPad plugged in… how 2009!). What frustrated me the most, though, wasn’t having to make contingency plans; that’s always a good idea. It was the fact that I had to revert to my contingency plans many more times than I should have.

Taking the Plunge

The iPad wasn’t the only the significant addition to my teaching workflow. Previously, I had used the learning management system (LMS) as simply a repository for a handful of digital scores, worksheets, and recordings. This semester, however, I decided to take the plunge and make FGCU’s LMS, Canvas, an integral part of my classes. Instead of in-class singing performances in Aural Skills, I had students record videos of themselves singing. No longer did I have a separate Numbers spreadsheet for student grades; I entered and calculated them directly in Canvas. I shared links, posted scores and recordings, made announcements, and asked questions all through Canvas.

At the start of the semester, I had hoped that leveraging Canvas’ capabilities would streamline the bookkeeping and administrative side of teaching (the side I refer to as the “necessary evil” side). And in some ways it did. The singing videos freed up enormous amounts of class time and was well-received by the students, not to mention that it was also highly effective. Once I got the hang of some of Canvas’ gradebook feature, it did make calculating grades a breeze. In many other ways, however, the system slowed me down. In my experience, the problem with LMSs is that the software’s potential far exceeds its execution. The learning curves are very steep, mainly because non-intuitive, visually unappealing UIs often make simple tasks more difficult. Slow on-campus network speeds and even slower website loading times compounded my frustration.

For Future Reference

I also made changes to the way I write and organize my lesson plans. The way I had been doing it was inefficient, and made referencing older plans more tedious than it needed to be. So, instead of each day having its own document, the entire semester’s plans are in one document, organized in a long table. Not only is it easier for me to see what I did last class or last week, it’s more conducive for taking notes about how the lessons went. For years, I’ve been trying my make myself do this more consistently, but for whatever reason(s) I haven’t been able to do it. This new system has helped me take many more notes about the methodologies and procedures in my teaching, which has already helped me improve. I can also envision it being much easier to reference lessons from previous semesters, which will go a long way toward being a more efficient and more consistent teacher in the long run.

Sophomore Slump

My sophomore classes weren’t progressing like I thought they would. The Theory III students were having a difficult time with the form unit while the Aural Skills III students (many of whom were also in my Theory III section) struggled mightily with dictation. I took their lack of progress very personally because most of these students had me for both theory and aural skills their freshman year, so I thought their preparedness and comprehension of the second-year topics (or apparent lack thereof) was on me. “Oh great,” I fretted. “My first year in the permanent position and already I’m screwing up. Maybe I’m not as good a teacher as I thought…”

Two ≯ One

Based on my recommendation, we switched music theory texts. This meant that, because we didn’t want our sophomores to buy another expensive set of materials, they continued using the old text while the freshmen used the new ones. Normally, this wouldn’t be a big deal. I use material from different sources all the time to supplement (or even replace) assignments/drills/examples from the primary text. The trouble was this: not only did I want the transition to go smoothly for myself, I wanted it to go well for my colleagues. It was the first decision I made as “The Theory Guy” at FGCU, so I wanted to prove that my choice of texts was a good one. I didn’t want my colleagues questioning my choices already.

Early to Bed, Early to Rise

In an effort to increase my productivity on the research front, I tried a new daily routine that included both earlier wake-up times (4-4:30 a.m.) and bedtimes (8:30-9 p.m.). Normally, I would get out of bed around 6:00 in bed any time between 9:00 and 11:00, depending on how much work I needed to do that night. But by October, I noticed that I was not getting much research work done. Because of the other changes I made to my teaching workflow and increased service commitments, I spent so much time planning and in meetings that it was difficult for me to get in research time while on campus. And by the time evening rolled around, after putting my son to sleep and having dinner with my wife, I was exhausted and had no energy left for anything, let alone detailed intellectual activity. Plus, I didn’t really want my evenings spent doing work. When I leave campus, I want to leave “Dr. Endrinal” there so that I can concentrate on being “Mr. Endrinal” and “Daddy” at home.

The routine worked. I was awake for the same number of hours as my 6 a.m.-11 p.m. schedule; the main difference was that by the time 8:30 p.m. rolled around, I had already done some research work. Even an hour a day is better than no time at all. Unfortunately, after SMT, I was so worn down from the semester that I just couldn’t get up before 6:30. The momentum that I had gained in the two weeks before Milwaukee had all but vanished.

Skip to the End…

I learned several lessons from that whirlwind of the semester, namely:

  • Change is good and necessary, but too many changes at once can be overwhelming, not to mention counterproductive, no matter how small they may seem initially . It was difficult for me to keep track of what was working and what needed improvement, and that leads me to my mistake: I assumed every new thing I was trying would work flawlessly. I mean, how could they not work? I mean, they were my ideas, so of course they were going to be successful, right? In Lee Corso’s words, “Not so fast, my friend.” My hubris was indeed my downfall.
  • I need to quit trying to prove that I belong and just do my job. I need to trust myself to do the job right. After all, that’s only way I know how to operate. I do belong here at FGCU and in the wider music theory community. And I need to always remember that I am extremely lucky to do what I love to do. Not everyone can say that.
  • Music is a hard subject, both to study and to teach. And necessarily so. I cannot expect my students not to struggle at times just because I didn’t struggle with music theory as an undergraduate. Beethoven is hard. Bach is hard. Form is hard. Dictation is hard. Music is nuanced and subjective and deeply personal, and I needed to be reminded that many most students do not just “get it.”
  • There’s no such thing as an “average” or “run-of-the-mill” semester. Every semester is different simply because new people are involved every time. The constant rotation of students (and even faculty) gives each term its own flavor. Because of this, I should expect to be tweaking and adjusting my teaching constantly, not just semester to semester, but month to month and even week to week. In other words, I need to roll with the punches.

The biggest takeaway from all this is that much of the pressure I felt was self-inflicted. I tried to do too much too soon and it bit me. Hard. But I’m recovered now. I’ve had a lovely holiday break and I’m actually excited to tackle the upcoming term and apply what I’ve learned and pass it on to my students.

Peace out, Fall 2014.

Version 2.0

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Welcome to the second iteration of this blog.

Why restart this site? And why now? It’s simple, really: I need to jump start my music theory writing. Allow me to explain.

Finding balance in life is proving a mighty challenge, especially now that I’ve got a family of my own. Family will always come first, but because I am the primary breadwinner in my family, I cannot afford to shrug off my professional responsibilities. And, as I am now discovering, achieving a balance within each portion of my life is also difficult proposition. With a lot of discussion, planning, and trial and error, my wife and I have done a great job so far at finding time to be husband and wife amidst the hurricane of being Daddy and Mommy. Professionally, however, I’ve struggled.

This summer was a wonderful and much needed break from all things professional. I’m thankful for the time off, but now I’m having trouble getting back into a research groove because I was checked out for so long. Professionally, I consider myself a teacher first and a researcher second. I’m fortunate that FGCU values teaching as the most important aspect of being on the faculty. But, no matter how valued teaching is, long-term career stability and mobility are difficult to achieve in the field of music theory without paying attention to the other two academic pillars: scholarship and service. At this stage of my career, publication is the name of the game. And, the thing is, I love analyzing music. There’s a bevy of analytical riches buried in U2’s music, just waiting for someone to discover them and write about them. It’s just that I’m so mentally exhausted after teaching and planning that I’ve put my analytical writing on the proverbial back burner. I’ve taught these class before, so I didn’t anticipate teaching and planning to be as tiring as it has turned out to be. We even changed textbooks to one with which I am quite familiar because I used it at my previous institution. But, the change in textbooks was my suggestion, so I’m nervous about the success of its implementation. In addition to the textbook change, I’m also anxious because I’m trying several new things this semester: integration of Canvas, the University’s online system, into the daily class flow; extensive use of an iPad in class; a new organizational system for my lesson plans. Nervousness at the beginning of the school year is normal, but the anxiety about my new workflow has stymied my motivation to do research. I’m finally settling into it, though, so now is the time to get back into research game.

Which brings me back to the reason I’m restarting this blog. When I was younger, my dad told me repeatedly told me that I could improve my writing by reading more and writing regularly. 25 years later, I’m finally going to start following my his advice. I want to use this blog as a creative outlet (sometimes, I need more than 140 characters) that will steer me back into a research routine. Hopefully, writing begets (good) writing. I figure that if I can get the creative writing juices flowing again at least on a semi-regular basis, then I can find the inspiration/motivation to analyze music and write about it. I’ve been thinking about getting back into this site for a while now, but never could justify the time and energy it requires. Not only do I want to write, I need to write. I’m hoping this blog will provide the impetus I need to finish the projects I’ve started and begin new ones.

First-day Jitters

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The first day of school always makes me a little nervous.  It’s a good nervousness, though, the kind that’s mixed with the excitement of possibility.  In less than an hour, I’ll be in front of the first class of the new school year–class of freshmen, nonetheless–so the nerves for that class are extra jittery.  I’m not quite as nervous as I was last year, probably because it’s not the first day of my first year as a professor.  But I liken this nervousness to the feeling one gets right before going on stage to perform or before going out onto the field to play a big game.  I get these nerves just about every day that I teach, but it’s especially pronounced on the first day of school.  The slate is clean (on both sides of the desk), there’s new blood in the building, and the school year is rife with opportunity and untapped potential.  I know that once classes get rolling the nerves will fade away.  But I enjoy being nervous before school.  The way I see it, it means that I care.  Here’s to hoping I always have first-day jitters.

Easter 12 of 12

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Happy Easter, everyone!

9:23am Bundled up on Easter morning. It LOOKED like Easter outside, but it sure didn't FEEL like Easter.
9:23am Bundled up on to take out Oreo. It LOOKED like Easter outside, but it sure didn't FEEL like Easter.
9:24am Yup, you're reading that correctly: Bright sunshine and 35 degrees, with a wind chill of 25 degree. Like I said, it LOOKED spring outside, but it in no way FELT like spring.
9:24am Yup, you're reading that correctly: Bright sunshine and 35 degrees, with a wind chill of 25 degrees. Like I said, it LOOKED spring outside, but it in no way FELT like spring.
11:09am Just before going into the church for Easter morning mass. Notice the lovely Easter wreathes on the doors.
11:09am Just before going into the church for Easter morning mass. Notice the lovely Easter wreathes on the doors and the fresh haircut.
12:24pm The beautiful Easter decorations in the church.
12:24pm The beautiful Easter decorations in the church.
2:48pm Giving Oreo a long overdue. She was great--very calm and relaxed in the tub.
2:48pm Giving Oreo a long overdue bath. She was great--very calm and relaxed in the tub.
3:36pm Loaded up the dishwasher with a week's worth of dishes. I use a lot of dishes when I don't eat out. Plus, I'm lazy.
3:36pm Loaded up the dishwasher with a week's worth of dishes. I use a lot of dishes when I don't eat out. Plus, I'm lazy.
6:25pm Grading some Theory 2 papers. Ah, the deceptive cadence: one of my favorites.
6:25pm Grading some Theory 2 papers. Ah, the deceptive cadence: one of my favorites.
8:20pm Oreo hanging out in front of the fire.
8:20pm Oreo hanging out in front of the fire.
8:30pm Watching the Brewers' Ryan Braun bat in the bottom of the first inning. God, I hate that guy.
8:30pm Watching the Brewers' Ryan Braun bat in the bottom of the first inning. God, I hate that guy.
9:53pm Done with grading, I record the grades in the gradebook.
9:53pm Done with grading, I record the grades in the gradebook.
10:36pm iShoot for the iPod Touch is made the "Naughty Bits." (Mike, that one's for you. BITS)
10:36pm iShoot for the iPod Touch is made by "Naughty Bits." (Mike, that one's for you. BITS)
11:34pm CUBS WIN!!
11:34pm CUBS WIN!!

Insomnia, pt. 2

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Yesterday was the first day of the spring semester at UML.  I’m usually a bit nervous before the start of the new semester, and the two nights ago certainly was no exception.  I didn’t get much sleep the night before, about four hours, due to my mind’s inability to relax and also to a fear of oversleeping.  I had trouble falling asleep last night, too, again because my mind just couldn’t settle down.  Among the various subjects my mind contemplated were:

  • The new semester: I hope I teach well and I hope my students are receptive to my methods.
  • Relationships: past, present, and future; platonic, romantic, familial.  It was a long weekend, to say the least.
  • The first six measures of “My Country ‘Tis of Thee”: I’m using that as an example in class on Friday, so I transcribed it into Finale Sunday afternoon and haven’t been able to get it out of my head.  Along with…
  • “Get On Your Boots,” U2’s new single: I’ve lived with the song for a week now and I can say with full confidence that I like it.  It’s a new direction for the band, which was their intent on this album.  I was reluctant to write about the song until I’d listened to it enough.  I have, and it’s a keeper.  Like the rest of the U2 fans out there, I’m very excited for No Line On The Horizon.
  • The impending snow storm: I hope my tires don’t get flat again.  I’ve spent a pretty penny getting them changed; I’d really hate it if I had to through the hassle of changing yet another tire.  On the bright side, Oreo will have more snow in which to run around.
  • Travel plans for Spring Break:  My mom wants to go to Vegas, Mike is hosting FriendFest ’09a in DC, and I’d like to visit Houston again.  Three place, one week…something’s gotta give.
  • My country ’tis of thee sweet land of liber…DAMN IT!!
  • The Australian Open: Djokovic has all the talent in the world, but no heart.  I realize that court temperatures of 142 degrees are torture, but he’s a professional with adequate time to prepare for the conditions.  It’d be different if this was the first time he retired, but he’s developing a trend of quitting when he’s down.  Federer, the game’s gentleman champion and ambassador, even called him out.  Not a good sign, Novak.
  • Nashoba Valley Chorale: I sang with them for the first time last night and the music was tough.  Of course, I was rusty, but a lot of the music was in French, a language I have trouble with.

So yeah, the way I see it, it was impossible for my mind to shut down while all this crap swirling around.  I’m not sure how well I’ll survive averaging less than five hours of sleep a night.  Here’s to an early bedtime tonight!

Click here for “Insomnia” (pt. 1).

September 12 of 12

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I was so tired last night I didn’t get a chance to post my 12 of 12 before I went to bed, as I like to do.  Here it is, a few hours late.

6:19 AM – The alarm had already been going off for 4 minutes.  Ouch.

6:24 AM – The parking garage on the first floor my building.  Oreo’s leading the way to the pet area.

6:55 AM – My clothes are waiting for me after my shower.  And yes, I did set them aside the night before, undershirt and all.

7:29 AM – My breakfast this morning.

7:45 AM – Making sure the playlist is complete for classes today.  Mozart?  check.  Sousa?  Check.  All-American Rejects?  Check.  Busta Rhymes?  Check.

11:45 AM – I head over to the convenience store adjacent to the Dept. of Music to grab some lunch before my office hour.  I decide to give Senor Miguel a try.  That was a mistake.  I should have known better.

12:15 PM – While waiting for a student (who never showed) during my office hour, I unload my bag and discover that I’ve a lot of grading to do this weekend.  A lot.

3:05 PM – Locking up my office, as I complete my first full week of classes (last week was only three days).  (P.S. You know it’s my office: amidst Red Sox Nation, it’s the only one with Cubs logos adorning the window.  Go CUBS!)

3:40 PM – I live only 2.0 miles from school, yet my commute averages about 25 minutes, no thanks to the Rourke Bridge, which I have to cross to get to and from school.  Essentially, three lanes bottleneck into one, then branch out again into three.  Here, I need to make a right, and would be able to if the jerk in front of me, who needs to make a left, would have gotten over to the left lane.  Moron.

4:07 PM – There’s a Dunkin’ Donuts right across the street from my apartment, and since Senor Miguel’s breakfast “burrito” didn’t do much for me, I decide to grab a sausage, egg, and cheese bagel.  This was not a mistake.

8:47 PM – Despite the mountain of papers I have to grade, I decide to take the night off because I’m utterly exhausted.  So, I play a little MarioKart Wii.  I won a few gold trophies in the 150cc league.  My only loss in this cup was due to a fluke pass right at the end, after I dominated the entire race up ’til that point.  Stupid spiny shells.

12:26 AM – I spend the rest of the night watching The Karate Kid and The Karate Kid Part II on AMC.  Oreo and I are in and out of consciousness pretty much the whole evening.  Man, my dog is cute.  Too cute.

One Week

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My “grown-up” life as a full-fledged faculty member of UML has carried on now for a week and I can safely say that life is good.  I’ve got a pretty cushy schedule, only teaching Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings at 8, 9, and 10.  When I first learned of my schedule, I was excited at the prospect of being “at work” only three days a week.  But as I soon found out, that’s not quite the case, as there are meetings and receptions and convocations and recitals scheduled throughout the week at all times of the day.  Also challenging about this schedule is the fact that I’m teaching three classes back-to-back-to-back, so I’ve got to be prepared with my lesson plans the night before as there’s no time between classes to plan for the next.  True, it’s only three hours of classroom time, but it’s three hours straight.  Being in front of 30 undergrads for that much time with no break is exhausting.  Add to that the fact that the copy center isn’t open before 8:30, so I’ve got to plan way ahead if I want to give a quiz or make a handout.

All in all, however, the job is great so far.  I know it’s still early, and I know that there will be days that don’t go well or weeks that are jam packed with extra-classroom events.  But the way I see it, until those days and weeks get here, I’m going to enjoy my free time while I still have some.